Gerry McRae

Seven Ways to Say, "No!"



Posted: Thursday, December 25, 2008

by
http://www.UncleMaxSays.com

A common remedy for improving your time management is to develop the ability of saying, "NO." Since it is easier to recommend than to do, here are some tips on how to do it.

1. Start with your own attitude. What is your self perception when you say, "NO?" Do you see yourself as a slacker? What about the perception of others, are you concerned about what others think of you? Are their opinions influenced by your refusal and does it really matter? Be truthful in your answers and your decision. We are forced to say, "NO" when we become overwhelmed by work, stress, or when a loved one delivers an ultimatum. Why not do the same when you're managing for more success?

2. Once you have made your decision to say, "NO" more often, your commitment is now a matter of discipline. Self-discipline is not a dirty word when we recall savoring the joy resulting from just a little improvement. Just practice all the techniques you've used successfully in the past. It's only natural for others to point to those who are the most vocal which is not same as selecting the most competent. Resist and recognize ego stroking for what it is.

3. Replace the task refused with something better. You can contribute a lot without being put on a committee or doing every task requested of you. Counter with, "Do you want me to forsake doing (one of your more meaningful contributions)?" Or, defer to other, more competent, persons.

4. Calculate the risks of saying, "NO." Test the requester's reaction by delaying your final decision on your refusal. Test the system by conducting an informal survey with a control 'Yes' group compared with an experimental 'No' group and assess the consequences.

5. Say, "NO" and duck which is a paraphrase of the, "Do It and Duck" strategy followed by some bureaucrats. This, of course depends on the situation: (a) the stakes are not high, (b) you've noted few results when doing previous tasks, or (c) you're feeling frustrated with repeated and insincere requests.

6. Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that can happen to you or to others?" This could include the follow-up to the ducking method suggested above. You can always pretend not to hear (a common technique with seniors.)

7. There's always the escape hatch, "I'll consider (or I may be in a different position) AFTER I complete Project X." Be honest by ensuring your inner thoughts are honest. Appear to be honest (recall the survey method in item 4 above) by checking your usage frequency.

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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)
» left by straight talk
 3 years 29 days ago.
111 fans. Follow straight talk on twitter!
One of the smalest words we use but one of the hardest to say.
» left by Peter Alfieri
 3 years 27 days ago.
13 fans.
Great article! I'll have to use some of your ideas in the future. Since I enjoyed this article so much, maybe an article on 7 ways to say yes. In this day and age I think if we said yes to many things it could improve relationships on many levels.
 
Thx again for a great article!
» left by Beverly Jones
 3 years 26 days ago.
2 fans.
Thank you much. I found your solutions interesting.
» left by Gary W. Halsey Sr.
 3 years 26 days ago.
51 fans.
This was a great article, so many people have a problem of saying no. I really don't know, but I do not find it hard to say no at all. If someone would ask me to to or say something that I really don't want to do, I just say "No", and believe it or not, using allot of the techniques that your article emulates. I love it....keep up the good work!
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